I feel like I can't concentrate anymore. All day long I'm just day dreaming, getting away from reality, getting away from the emotional pain, issues and the way life sucks right now for me. I find myself obsessing over little things, over certain people and getting nothing accomplished. Everyday I get up with a goal set in mind, I have short-term errands/goals for the day yet nothing gets accomplished. Why?
I avoid people, I'm always alone, want to be alone and hate being alone. I have having to communicate with others about life pretending to be happy and cherry when everything in me is crying. Inside I'm in pain yet in the outside I smile, I help others, I'm there yet no one has looked at me and called it out. No one has told me why are you so sad, broken, lonely and hurt? What is truly going on with you? I desire to talk to a psychologist one day I just don't have the insurance for it. My friends have suggested me to go talk to a priest in a confessional but really I can't do that. I'm not catholic and it just feels weird.
When I think about that stupid question they ask in high school "Where do you picture yourself in 10 years" I think about it and I feel miserable. I have completed 4 years of college or so got my degree yet I'm not working at a dream job, I'm not even working. I've been unemployed for a year with no motivation to find a job. I'm hopeless, I'm in-responsible yet I can't move forward. I can't move forward if my life depended on it isn't that sad?
How can I move on? How can I just continue in life without ending in a even worse predicament? Just needed to vent, get it out there. Thanks for reading if anyone is reading this post.
